Date: 2018-01-11 21:08
When choosing a date beware other important events on the calendar such as sporting fixtures, school holidays and rival local events.
One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it s his daughter s birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, How much for one of those Barbie s in the display window?
'I will concentrate on my studies,' the man replies, 'God will provide for us.'
'And children?' asks the father. 'How will you support children?'
He goes to the pet store and asks the manager if he has anything special in the way of birds. The manager tells him that in fact he does, it's a bird named Chet who sings.
One day, Professor Wilson was having lunch at the dining room of the University, and Gandhi came along with his tray and sat next to the professor. The professor said, Mr Gandhi, you do not understand. A pig and a bird do not sit together to eat.
The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective accommodations of repose, were experiencing subconscious visual hallucinations of variegated fruit confections moving rhythmically through their cerebrums. My conjugal partner and I, attired in our nocturnal head coverings, were about to take slumberous advantage of the hibernal darkness when upon the avenaceous exterior portion of the grounds there ascended such a cacophony of dissonance that I felt compelled to arise with alacrity from my place of repose for the purpose of ascertaining the precise source thereof.
If you take an infinite number of hillbillies, and put each in a pickup truck. Next give them each a shotgun and an infinite number of rounds. Tell them to go out and shoot at any highway sign that they see, eventually they will produce all the world's great literary works in Braille.
Don't worry, sir, God will provide, replies the fiance.
The conversation proceeds like this, and each time the father questions, the idealist insists that God will provide.